People Don't think it be like it is but it do.

youngspiritofsin:

if you can’t laugh during sex, you might not be doing it with the right person

(Source: aspirinorpizza, via mariasunshineisadreamer)

Notes
133574
Posted
2 hours ago

dumbscar:

image

HAVE SOME PENGUINS CHASING A BUTTERFLY

(via cracked-out-goat)

Notes
870525
Posted
2 hours ago
did-you-kno:

According to a study, couples who share housework equally are more likely to divorce.
Source

did-you-kno:

According to a study, couples who share housework equally are more likely to divorce.

Source

Notes
1570
Posted
2 hours ago

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

(via mariasunshineisadreamer)

Notes
130598
Posted
2 hours ago
chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

(via kingsleyyy)

Notes
430410
Posted
3 hours ago
aphgermanys:

filthy-hippie-vibes:

Pika pika, mother fucker.

you shouldnt have freed them

aphgermanys:

filthy-hippie-vibes:

Pika pika, mother fucker.

you shouldnt have freed them

(Source: sovietnam, via ruinedchildhood)

Notes
158211
Posted
3 hours ago
gamercrunch:

Found this ad in a Nickelodeon magazine from 2004.

gamercrunch:

Found this ad in a Nickelodeon magazine from 2004.

(via ruinedchildhood)

Notes
55206
Posted
3 hours ago
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